Round-up: Threats, Breasts, and other Gaga

Ain't no knife-wielding, ex-FDNY firefighter gonna scare Madonna. Lady's from (close to) Detroit.

Tina Fey too busy, funny for Twitter.

Letterman wants check, not apology from failed hoaxster Joaquin Phoenix.

Cher leaves Vegas. Vegas distraught, resorts to playing Cher. Strong enough indeed.

Katy Perry's breasts debut on children's program. Response cold, say "too hot."

Harry Potter not dead yet.

Lady GaGa's own vadge might be fused shut with a welder to keep her creativity from leaking out (ugh) but that apparently didn't stop her from causing the unwanted pregnancies of countless other vadges across America

One twitter account just isn't enough for 50 Cent...now he's tweeting through Oprah. No, not that one, his DOG.

By Alexandra Cavallo and Marianna Faynshteyn