New guerrilla documentary reveals true story of Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise!
So. Here's the trailer for a heart-wrenching documentary about Katie Cruise née Holmes and the unimaginable horrors she's experienced since leaving Dawson's Creek and falling in with the Church of Cruise, ahem, Scientology. This brave documentary, shot to appear as if it's actually a studio production, follows Katie from her very first encounter with the Church, through her ill-fated marriage to Tom Cruise, and ends with her ultimate struggle to escape from a life of enslavement and forced sexual union with a known psychotic. [A warning: the harrowing nature of the scenes in which her fellow Scientologists and husband attempt to restrain her are for mature eyes only.] For the first time ever, the world will see how Holmes fell prey to Cruise and his legion of followers, as they ply her with promises of friendship and....
Oh. Oh, wait. This is actually a trailer for Holmes' new movie. A thriller called "Don't Be Afraid of the Dark." Oh, crap. Never mind. Looks good, Katie!