Tackiest headline/lede combo for a story ever?

This headline was on E! today:

Alex Trebek Jeopardized by Heart Attack

Then, to compound matters, here's the first paragraph:
The category? Cardiac events. The clue? Alex Trebek.

For those wondering, Trebek is okay. But the Phoenix staff was inspired to come up with some other possible future headlines to describe tragic events in the lives of other noteworthy gameshow hosts. Here are the results:

"C _ N C E R -- Pat Sajak buys an ‘A’; his 'Wheel' lands on 'prostate' "

"Diabetes, or No Diabetes? It’s a bad 'Deal' for Howie Mandel"

"The Price Is Rigor Mortis -- Drew Carey dead in car crash" - David Bernstein (for all three of those)

"Who Wants To Be A Pallbearer? Regis Philbin’s final answer." - Mike Miliard

"No More Physical Challenges: Marc Summers dies in freak slime accident" - Caitlin Curran

"Survey Says, Decapitation: Richard Karn’s Final Face Off" - Sharon Steel

"Not A Survivor: Jeff Proust Votes Himself Off the Island" - Also Sharon Steel, or, alternately, "No 'Surviving': Annoyed competitors eliminate Jeff Probst" - Caitlin Curran

"Newlydead Game: Bob Eubanks Victim of Shotgun Wedding" - Vanessa Czarnecki

"The Final Rose: Chris Harrison dies in freak gardening accident" - Ellee Dean

"The Weakest Link: World Says 'Goodbye' to Anne Robinson After Fateful Relay Race" - Will Spitz

"Back, back, back, gone: The tragic final days of Chris Berman" - Ryan Stewart

"Apparently NOT smarter than a 5th grader: All-wet Jeff Foxworthy electrocuted after licking electrical socket" - Lance Gould

| More

 Friends' Activity   Popular 
All Blogs
Follow the Phoenix
  • newsletter
  • twitter
  • facebook
  • youtube
  • rss
Latest Comments
Search Blogs
Phlog Archives