So what can you do when everybody else over by the water cooler is talking about Lost? You do what you have to do. First you use the wrench. Then the blowtorch. Then the knife. And, of course, that doesn't work because . . . because torture . . . doesn't work! But how else to get the information? His cell phone - the chip, the thing, the whatever you call it with all the information - the SIM card! Of course of course! A horse is a horse, you piece of shit! The SIM card's not in the phone so it's either up his ass or he swallowed it.

If you're a fan of 24 (Mondays at 9 pm on FOX), you don't have to be told what needs to be done to save America from a terrorist attack. So in this season's hour 4, when FBI agent Renee Walker (Annie Wersching) needed information from a former undercover contact in the Russian mob, she did what any red-blooded American would do: she put the guy's hand in a vise and cut his thumb off.