We think we're turning Japanese, we think we're turning Japanese, we really think so.
The Japanese have a tremendous obsession with toilets. But the Narragansett Bay Commission, which oversees treatment of metropolitan Providence's sewage, are getting in the game with their upcoming celebration of World Toilet Day (no, we're not kidding) — launching a "Happy Toilet, Healthy Bay" art exhibit beginning on November 16.
World Toilet Day, a United Nations conception — they are obviously bored by international peacekeeping drudgery — will be feted here in the Biggest Little with a display of "artificially enhanced" toilets (and boy, do we hope this doesn't get into scratch 'n' sniff) from local student artists, to be on show at Firehouse 13 in La Prov running from November 15-22. One of the main points of this exercise is to point out that 2.6 billion people worldwide are without adequate sanitation, fostering often deadly health situations. This outpouring of "Clean Water Creativity," as our friends at NBC would have it, is open to the public and features a special reception on November 18 from 5 to 7 pm, when potty minds can meet the artistes.
Phillipe and Jorge's friends at the Field's Point headquarters of the Commission — led by the lovely Ms. Samons and, we are certain, abetted by Tommy Grapes — are responsible for this poetic paean to porcelain, and your superior correspondents love it. We are certain many seats will be available (ba-boom!), although the much hoped-for urinal exhibit will be standing room only we predict (ba-da-da-boom-boom!). Contributors will be commode craftsmen drawn from the NBC service area, which includes 10 metro municipalities, Girl Scouts — and we sure want to see the design of that merit badge — and students from the Met School in Providence and Davies Career and Technical High School in Lincoln.
So pull the chain and come on out with all the Nortons from NBC to see how the large portion of your life you have spent squatting could have been done with flair and fashion — while the bad taste bell peals incessantly. Visit narrabay.com for more info, but if one of these masterpieces doesn't feature a mannequin dressed up as Elvis we will be sadly disappointed.
YOUNG LOVE
In their eternal quest for publicity, Vo Dilun's version of Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag — the two and only Christopher Young and Kara Russo — are keeping all their fans (Chris Young and Kara Russo) on the edge of their toilet seats as to whether or not the couple will follow through on their plans to wed. As they told the Urinal's "Political Scene," "We'll be making an announcement about proceeding with the wedding."
As au courant Biggest Little denizens are aware, Young proposed to Russo at the end of a Providence mayoral debate, which she accepted from the audience with a screamed "Yes!" On further inquiry from the media on hand, wild and crazy Chris added this rider: the nuptials would only take place if he won the election. Unfortunately for wedding planners everywhere, Young was nipped at the wire in his bid for mayor of Our Little Towne by a mere three million votes by Angel Taveras.
Please kids, don't let us down. We smell a reality show in the making, and we are sure you do, too. Heidi Rogers as bridesmaid, perhaps?
