Fox 25 News: Fat Is The New Whatever Last Replaced The New Black

I'm a constant defender of Fox 25 News here in Boston, and not just because of Doug Meehan's prize-winning tan and Keba Arnold's smile. Their morning newscast is the most entertaining around - a sweet mix of straight local stories and breakfast table candy corn. But today they went too far. Today - I can't believe I'm writing this - they ran a report claiming that beer guts are en vogue. Why? Because President Obama has chiseled abs, and us fat bastards are rebelling against his perfection.

First of all - I was pudgy all through the Bush administration, so I'm in no way following the "cultural observers" and "trend watchers" in New York City who have been "spotting the belly bumps on dudes and noticing it's kind of in, to not be so thin." Second of all - this is the most ridiculous feature that I've seen since...this New York Times story from last week about hipsters and their PBR guts (you can blame Details Editor Dan Peres for the Obama hypothesis, by the way).

I shouldn't be complaining, though; there's probably a buffet line somewhere in the Midwest full of huskies who are pissed that East Coast elitists are once again taking credit for a look they've been cultivating for decades. First Notorious B.I.G. with his lumberjack and the hat to match, then crystal meth, and now this! On the real, all my chubby comrades out there should eat this up. And make sure to get some extra bleu cheese on the side.