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Best of Portland 2009

Safe sex, duh

By YOUR SECRET ADMIRER  |  April 29, 2009

A sharp-eyed reader caught an omission in one of Your Secret Admirer's previous columns. Last month, I wrote about how some hetero and queer couples navigate open relationships and polyamory (see "Poly In Practice," April 3). One 36-year-old male wondered why I left out any mention of safe sex, which is obviously more of an issue in these types of arrangements. "I think young people, and dare I say young white people in small cities ... think that STDs aren't a real concern," he wrote to me. "I don't know what the statistics are, but there must be some things being passed around even in our quaint little town."

I checked back in with Janice and Adam, one of the couples I wrote about for that piece. "It's funny, I'm not even sure how to answer this other than with 'duh'?" Adam says. "I went to college in the early '90s, during the rise of Act Up, dental dams, and finger condoms, when straight women were the fastest-growing segment of the population with HIV. If you had sex without a condom in the early '90s, you thought you were going to die, period. Janice and I don't use condoms for STD prevention with each other, and I even have my negative STD test results posted in a picture on my MySpace page. But with other people, whether it's one-on-one or group sex, we always use condoms. We don't currently sleep with anyone else regularly enough to be at the point of not using condoms with a third person."

Related: Losing common ground, Are turtles making love at King Middle School?, Controlling birth, More more >
  Topics: This Just In , Birth Control, Culture and Lifestyle, Health and Fitness,  More more >
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  •   THE ORIGINAL DIY, OBSERVED  |  May 27, 2009
    Celebrating the safest of sex, plus what to do when dates collide
  •   SAFE SEXT  |  April 30, 2009
    Our anthropological observer of sex trends busies her fingers . . . with the world of raunchy texts. Plus, friends with benefits?
  •   SAFE SEX, DUH  |  April 29, 2009
  •   POLY IN PRACTICE  |  April 02, 2009
    Being open-minded about open relationships
  •   STRAIGHT TO THE SOURCE  |  April 02, 2009
    Polyamorist shares her thoughts

 See all articles by: YOUR SECRET ADMIRER

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