Stop me if you've heard this one before: a farm boy dreams of adventure, finds it, and falls in love with a princess along the way. (For everyone's sake, let's just hope she's not his sister.) Leading our hero on his journey to rescue her royal highness (Eleanor Tomlinson) is Obi-Wan Kenobi — err, Ewan McGregor — in his role as head of the King's Guard. As for our hero, his name's Jack (Nicholas Hoult, showing less life than as the zombie he plays in Warm Bodies), and he's harboring a bag of magic beans with "the power to change the world." Yes, that Jack. He's off to slay some giants — first and foremost General Fallon and his lieutenants: Fee, Fye, Foe and Fumm. Fallon's motion-capture and vocal performance is provided by Bill Nighy (well, for one of his heads), the actor behind Pirates of the Caribbean's superior Davy Jones, which only serves to accentuate the shoddy effects work on display in 3D in director Bryan Singer's colossal stumble.
