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Review: Armored

Flat-footed Tarantino-esque hodgepodge misfires
By TOM MEEK  |  December 9, 2009
2.0 2.0 Stars

 

In view of its credentials, Armored should be a lay-up. The great cinematographer Andrzej Sekula (Pulp Fiction) gives it a tawdry, textured realism, and the pulsating score by Jon Gary Steele keeps it driving even when it's in idle. The cast of grizzled veterans includes Jean Reno, Fred Ward, and Laurence Fishburne.

So how did things go so sideways? That pretty much boils down to the hodge-podge story, which, written by James V. Simpson and directed by Nimród Antal (Kontroll), takes a boilerplate armor-car heist staged by the cash-strapped guards (à la The Underneath or CrissCross) and fuses it with the warehouse hideout from ReservoirDogs.

The performers, headed by Matt Dillon and Columbus Short as the two jackers at odds when the plan goes awry, bite into their roles with fervor, but Simpson's dialogue flies like a flat-footed homage to Mamet or Tarantino.

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ARTICLES BY TOM MEEK
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  •   LET'S GET RAW  |  December 16, 2009
    Couldn't score a seat at the Climate Change Conference underway in Copenhagen, but still want to reduce your carbon footprint? Perhaps you need to eat it raw.
  •   REVIEW: ARMORED  |  December 09, 2009
    In view of its credentials, Armored should be a lay-up.
  •   DOCUMENTARY MAN  |  December 09, 2009
    If you think the polemic salvos Michael Moore churns out define the modern documentary, you've either succumbed to Moore's manipulative shenanigans or are unfamiliar with the works of Frederick Wiseman. No disrespect to the Roger & Me director, he is what he is — a man with a camera and a handful of pixie dust.
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    So much blood splashes across the screen in James McTeigue’s martial-arts madness, you’d think the human body consisted of nothing but.
  •   CANNONBALL QUIETS HARVARD QUAD  |  November 04, 2009
    It’s been awhile since we had to worry about the multi-colored national danger spectrum, but last week, the northwestern quadrant of Harvard Square was put on high alert.

 See all articles by: TOM MEEK

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