32 worst lyrics of all time - Rec Room

Great list: On Destiny's Child, Bills, Bills, Bills, I love the sarcastic comments :) No, I'm being serious. Really!

POSTED BY Veector AT 06/14/06 10:46 AM

"Porcupine Pie," by Neil Diamond Porcupine Pie, Porcupine Pie, Porcupine Pie Vanilla Soup, a double scoop please No, maybe I won't, maybe I won't, maybe I will The tutti fruit with fruity blue cheese Ah, but Porcupine Pie, Porcupine Pie, Porcupine Pie Don't let it get on your jeans And though it sounds a little strange Well, you gotta eat it with gloves Or your hands will turn green Ah, but porcupine pie, porcupine pie, porcupine pie, It weaves its way through my dreams, And I do believe I'm gonna have one and Leave enough room for dessert, chicken ripple ice cream.

POSTED BY MM AT 06/14/06 1:50 PM

I can't remember her name, but I will never get these bad lyrics out of my head -and it's not just the words, its the way she has to force the rhyme into the line: "..she's precocious, and she knows just what it takes to.. make a pro blush." (Bette Davis Eyes)

POSTED BY FFMand AT 06/16/06 8:58 AM

This one has to get honorable mention: THE SONG: Heaven knows I'm miserable now THE LYRIC: "I was looking for a job, and then I found a job" Ask those down at the Pine Street Inn if it's just that easy Mr. Morrissey.

POSTED BY djkitt AT 06/16/06 7:20 PM

Great list, but it's incomplete without a showing from Alanis Morrisette, the patron saint of awful lyrics. My vote would have been for the "I hate to bug you in the middle of dinner" line from "You Oughta Know," but surely there are many other choices.

POSTED BY ThingyBlahBlah3 AT 06/22/06 11:37 AM

What?! No "If there a bustle in your hedgerow, don't be a alarmed now. It's just a sprinkling for the may queen."?

POSTED BY Rantipole AT 06/24/06 10:53 AM

Lest we forget the poet L. Kravitz, "I want to get away.,,, I want to flyyy awayhhh, yeah, yeah. I think he stole this from Lennon/McCartney.

POSTED BY McMaster AT 06/25/06 9:09 PM

She bangs, she bangs Oh baby when she moves, she moves I go crazy 'cause she Looks like a flower But she stings like a bee Like every girl in history She bangs alright. These lyrics rattle like a tinny jalopy driven too many times. Don't know if it's the echo of Muhammed Ali or the tired 'every rose has it's thorn'/'femme fatale' theme...

POSTED BY Muhammed_Ali AT 06/27/06 7:44 PM

I can not believe that no one entered that Get What You Give song by New Radicals. The song makes me embarrassed to own a radio. And does the band's name count as lyrics?

POSTED BY bear76@gmail.com AT 06/29/06 11:54 AM

Steve Miller's oeuvre is full of howlers, but this one rhyme has always bugged me: "Billy Mack is a detective down in Texas You know he knows just exactly what the facts is" I'm pretty sure Dave Barry has gotten multiple columns out of this one lyric.

POSTED BY MC Slim JB AT 06/29/06 2:47 PM

Shakira: Whenever, Wherever "Lucky that my breasts are small and humble So you don't confuse them with mountains" Yeah, good thing. I was always trying to rapel down my last girlfriend's chest.

POSTED BY law school AT 06/29/06 10:37 PM

Seconded on Shakira and "porcupine pie"...That one's just...."What the hell were you smoking?" quality. And the first...well. You can't put it better than lawschool did.

POSTED BY [-Scorpio-] AT 06/30/06 6:05 AM

Men Without Hats...Pop Goes the World with the lines "One, two, three and four is five/Everyone here is a friend of mine." So you can count? Anyone got a better line than that? Anyone, anyone?

POSTED BY projconn AT 06/30/06 11:07 AM

Since the article mentions some obscure songs by Genesis and Rush, I'll mention a couple of songs off of the last Donnas album that not many people have heard: From "It Takes One to Know One" (yeah, the titular cliché is sung in the song, but there's worse) "Tell me, am I speaking English / or is this just a deathwish?!" It sounds even worse than it reads because it leads into an angry guitar riff of the bridge which I imagine is supposed to punctuate the lyric, but the combination is about as explosive as a pop gun. The entire lyrics of "Don't Break Me Down" "Don't break me, don't break me down / Can't you see my hands on the ground? / I can't remember my name / And I promise it won't be the same // Did you steal it? Can you feel it? / 'Cause I'm starting to feel it now / So don't break me down // Don't break me, don't break me down / Don't bury my words in the ground / I can't sleep at night / And I know without me that you're not alright // Can you taste it? Can you face it? / 'Cause I'm ready to face it now / So don't break me down // [instrumental bridge] // Don't break me, don't break me down / Can't you see my hands on the ground / I know I'm holding on too tight / But just give me some time and I'll get it right // [etc.]"

POSTED BY Greg the Gruesome AT 07/02/06 3:57 AM

Ok, the Rush song is based on a Samuel Taylor Coleridge poem called, Kubla Khan and the lyrics are based directly on the text of the poem.

POSTED BY Suburban Dad AT 07/07/06 9:00 AM

Bette Davis Eyes - Kim Carnes How about The Smith's - Cemetry Gates -"They were born, then they lived and then they died" Uh, yeah Just reprint the lyric sheet to My Humps - reeeeeeaaally bad! Talk about filler!

POSTED BY Suburban Dad AT 07/07/06 9:10 AM

Four words: Please pardon the grammar. As a matter of fact that whole freakin song should be on this list one line at a time. Just f-ing bad. How the hell has Rod Stewart gotten away with being terrible all these years?

POSTED BY BRay747474 AT 07/11/06 6:27 PM

what about Hall & Oates "She's Gone" "Let the carbon and monoxide choke my thoughts away", Hello? isn't it Carbon monoxide, there is no "and", its a chemical. and what about America's "Ventura Highway"? "alligator lizards in the air"...isn't the lizard part redundant? i know there is an alligator lizard, which isn't an alligator, but this line is still stupid...

POSTED BY jetaspirin AT 07/19/06 11:45 AM

POSTED BY jetaspirin AT 07/19/06 12:53 PM

The lyric is 'its just a spring clean for the may queen'. Not 'sprinkling'. Must be my brummy accent.

POSTED BY Robert Plant AT 07/21/06 7:31 AM

'Got To Write a Classic' by Adrian Gurvitz should have pride of place on this list. I won't quote snippets of it because the whole song manages to be consistently awful.

POSTED BY Lung the Younger AT 07/21/06 8:28 AM

For me, the worst lyrics will always be from Stone Temple Pilots "Plush": And I feel when the dogs begin to smell here/ Will she smell alone? First of all, the dogs are only beginning to smell her so there's the promise of more smelling in the future. I'm pretty sure it comes later in the song. Either way, the question remains: will she smell alone? The answer, of course, lies in the universal question, do dogs count as company? Unless these are bloodhounds or something, beginning to smell her from, like, somewhere far away, in which case, she could be smelling alone somewhere in the woods nearby, as long as she hasn't waded across a river to get rid of her scent.

POSTED BY hello utah AT 07/21/06 10:00 AM

The Starship lyric is especially funny considering the "Starship corporation" had changed names twice by that point.

POSTED BY Hubajube AT 07/21/06 12:14 PM

"I don't want no scrubs-- a scrub being hermetically defined as a guy that can't get no love from me." I win.

POSTED BY joshsmoses AT 07/21/06 2:30 PM

toto -- africa I know that I must do what's right As sure as Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Ser-an-getti 'nuff said.

POSTED BY pinkygonzales AT 07/21/06 5:51 PM

You know, I would hope that before making fun of the lyrics of a song with such an odd, yet familiar-sounding name as "Xanadu," that you would bother Googling it first. //etext.virginia.edu/stc/Coleridge/poems/Kubla_Khan.html From Samuel Taylor Coleridge's rather famous poem, "Kubla Khan," which begins as follows: "In Xanadu did Kubla Khan A stately pleasure-dome decree: Where Alph, the sacred river, ran, Through caverns measureless to man Down to a sunless sea." Nearly every bizarre image of the song appears in the poem. Rather than being patent nonsense, as you imply, the song is an allusion to one of the great works of English literature. You morons.

POSTED BY pat kelly AT 07/22/06 12:36 AM

How about: "Girl I've been knowin' you since you were ten/you cannot hide from your friends." From "Girl" by Destiny's Child. I think that is even worse than "Bills." Ugh.

POSTED BY Danielle AT 07/22/06 11:09 AM

Makes me laugh every time: Rick Springfield. Jesse's Girl. "...but she starts talkin cute/I wanna tell her that I love her/But the point is probably mute." Let's see ... what rhymes with cute ... loot ... boot ... shoot .... oh, I got it! MUTE.

POSTED BY chillitiger AT 07/22/06 11:46 AM

You guys know that the "Xanadu" lyrics are a direct reworking of Coleridge's "Kubla Khan", right?

POSTED BY Roz McClure AT 07/23/06 6:50 PM

In Jesse's girl, it's actually MOOT, which means debatable...still not a gem. Snow, "Informer"...the entire song is filled with crap.

POSTED BY nat620 AT 07/24/06 11:24 AM

As far as R. Kelly lyrics go, the Ignition remix is not THAT bad. I submit for your consideration "You Remind Me of Something": You remind me of my jeep, I wanna ride it/Something like my sound, I wanna pump it/Girl you look just like my cars, I wanna wax it/And something like my bank account/I wanna spend it, baby

POSTED BY hater AT 07/24/06 12:05 PM

There are so MANY bad song lyrics...but I actually wanted to clarify something for Danielle, who posted on 7/22. In Rick Springfield's "Jessie's Girl," "...the point is probably MOOT" is the actual lyric, not MUTE. I know, I know, they're both pretty inane, but you know, in the interest of being fair, if you're gonna give 'em heat for writing a bad lyric, at least give 'em heat for the CORRECT bad lyric...LOL! For my money, how about Clay Aiken's "Invisible": "If I was invisible, then I could just watch you in your room" ooookay. Tell me THAT'S not creepy. But wait! It gets BETTER! "If I was invincible, I'd make you mine tonight..." so to add to the "ewwww" factor for you, Clay wants watch you without knowing, then make you his own because nothing could harm him? Sounds like every stalker's dream deal...YIKES! : ) Great postings everyone! Very funny stuff!

POSTED BY localboy AT 07/24/06 5:07 PM

Surely BM's "Iron like a lion in Zion" should get a mention. Along with the fact that you have to enter a zip code to register for this site. Hello, not everyone lives in America. But everyone does watch Spelling trash TV and therefore knows at least one valid zip code, whatever a zip code is. Also, so many Rush lyrics to poke fun at and you pick on 'Xanadu'?

POSTED BY avianflu AT 07/25/06 4:53 PM

I second the vote for that STP song - ugh! Very disappointed that Semisonic's ever-so-witty-and-cool "Closing Time" didn't make the grade, however... Closing time Open all the doors and let you out into the world Closing time Turn all of the lights on over every boy and every girl Closing time One last call for alcohol so finish your whiskey or beer Closing time You don't have to go home but you can't stay here - genius! I know who I want to take me home I know who I want to take me home I know who I want to take me home Take me home Closing time Time for you to go out to the places you will be from Closing time This room won't be open till your brothers or your sisters come So gather up your jackets, move it to the exits I hope you have found a friend Closing time Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end

POSTED BY bad lyric hater AT 07/25/06 6:37 PM

You guys totally forgot "chickity china the chinese chicken!!" :P

POSTED BY circlebyhabit AT 07/27/06 12:17 AM

POSTED BY THENILE AT 07/29/06 6:46 AM

Well since "Bills, Bills, Bills" is about a guy who runs up her bills without any intention to pay.... independent woman would have been a better choice. "only ring your celly when I feel lonely/when it's all over, please get up and leave" Uh huh. yep

POSTED BY Lunar AT 07/29/06 4:18 PM

Well, it's great what you guys write here, but obviously you haven't heard the song by Gunther, where he sings: "oh, you touch my talala, mmm... my ding ding dong..." Don't you have some more sophisticated words to describe certain parts of a man's body?

POSTED BY Magda AT 07/31/06 6:24 PM

"High school seemed like such a blur/I never had much interest in sports or school elections" Actually, I thought this was one of your wisest inclusions. The lyric's either stuck in adolescence or pandering or just lame nostalgia. No matter which one, it sucks.

POSTED BY lazyeric AT 08/02/06 11:08 PM

well its not exactly a famous song but "But Julian Im a Little Older Than You" off of courtney love's solo album (which has more than one instance of bad lyrics most definetly and this most likely isn't even the worst of them) she decides to show us the poetic well that is her soul by having a chorus of "I see Paris, I see France I can see your underpants Oh, I see Paris, I see France Oh, I hear London calling" and of course she adds the London Calling to show she's an old school punk too.

POSTED BY angela AT 08/13/06 1:28 AM

Dang, someone already added "Jesse's Girl," (my all time fave) but what about "Africa" by Toto? It's pretty awful: "I know that I must do what's right Sure as Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serengeti" I always though Kilimanjaro rose like Kilimanjaro, but no matter what, there's about a gajillion too many syllables in that line.

POSTED BY riffraf AT 08/13/06 9:54 PM

Baracca -- 'Yes Sir, I Can Boogie' LYRIC: No sir, I don't feel very much like talking / No neither walking / you wanna know if I can dance / Yes sir, already told you in the first verse... Already told me in the first verse hey? Maybe I had trouble understanding you with that OUTRAGOUS accent. She may have said 'first word' though, not sure. Still, 'first word' makes less sense. BUT IF THAT WASNT ENOUGH, from the same song, we have the chorus, 'Yes sir I can boogie / But I need a certain song / I can boogie, boogie boogie / All night long

POSTED BY HDogg AT 08/14/06 8:55 AM

ok. 1ts of all i would just like to say the song around the world by RHCP is one of the best songs ever. so in its defense, the whole ding dang dong dong ding dang dong dong ding dang dong. thing. yes thats how it goes..not like they put it. well anyway. they were trying to imitate chinese or japanese of some sort of orental language. ontice the title AROUND THE WORLD. yes theyre talkingabout the love all around the world so ya....

POSTED BY pwrfrward1 AT 10/08/06 12:10 AM

maybe you should do your research correctly. Destiny child's song 'bills bills bills' isn't about them wanting men to pay for all their stuff its about men using their stuff and not paying for it. so that does match with their later hit independant woman cos they were singing the same things back then.

POSTED BY jules AT 10/24/06 12:57 AM

"I watched the proverbial sunrise/coming up over the Pacific" I don't know which is worse - the lyric or the fact that you missed the biggest thing wrong with it. Which direction does the sun rise from, guys?

POSTED BY tomhanna AT 12/20/06 8:40 AM

Wow, you know what i expected? Seriously Blink 182's Adam Song... one of the lyrics goes "remember the time that i spilled the cup/ of apple juice/ in the hall/ please tell mom this is not her fault." Its not the lyrics... its just how badly its stuck in. if you listen to it (its like at 1:55 in the song) then youll see. the line dividing is horrid. and may i add, although i love this song, the lyrics are purposely idiotic.... fountains of wayne's mexicna wine!!! haha. "he was killed in a celular phone explosion/ they scattered his ashes across the ocean/ the water was used to make baby lotion/ the wheels of promotion/ were set into motion/ coz the sun still shines in the summer time/ ill be yours if youll be mine/ i try to change but i changed my mind/ i think ill have another glass of mexican wine/" .... enjoy my super long coment ^^

POSTED BY assass AT 01/10/07 6:26 PM

There is a song that I believe is fairly recent, I dont recall who sings it but the refrain is: "chicken noodle soup, chicken noodle, chicken noodle soup with a soda on the side" THOSE are some lame-o lyrics

POSTED BY turtletam AT 01/12/07 9:24 AM

Rush's "Xanadu" is based on Samuel Taylor Coleridge's poem "Kubla Khan" from 1797. There were also movies that reference the poem, including Orson Welles' Citizen Kane. If you read it, it's actually an interesting, though silly, poem, apparently written from the recollection of an opium dream/hallucination. It's also thought to have been inspired by Marco Polo's description of the place in "Purchase’s Pilgrimage". Anyway, I've never heard the Rush song but I do like the idea that this poem was adapted. Just thought I'd let you know.

POSTED BY tofubravado AT 01/19/07 7:47 AM

Oops, already mentioned.

POSTED BY tofubravado AT 01/19/07 7:51 AM

I just listened to "make it rain remix" by fat joe, lil wayne, r kelly, and whoever else. I am convinced that they payed an 8 year old to write the lyrics to that song. The first verse is R. Kelly singing for like a minute long about the worst crap ive ever heard. Some of my favorites from his verse are "I'm drilling these chicks like Major Payne" and "They was perty perty, and I was flirty flirty". Then it goes to lil wayne who busts out the worst rap ive ever heard in my entire life. the highlights of his verse are the whole damn thing which makes me want to cry every time i hear it. "Blat, blat, blat, blat, hey Joe uh let me git 'em It's young money and we on like the television The weather channel, but I do not broadcast I throw up more cash, and change the forecast Your boyfriend is lame, I make it rain on you He never make it rain, like Southern California Where's your umbrella? Now get your raincoat" The end of this song is actually pretty decent but this has got to be the worst first two verses to any song that ive heard in a long time. Baby I make it flood, now you gon' need a boat

POSTED BY jack AT 02/08/07 11:11 PM