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New year, same old same old

Vital issues for '14; Olympics on thin ice; remembering Susan Mabry
By PHILLIPE AND JORGE  |  January 8, 2014

After Phillipe and Jorge finally had their tongues removed from the swing set in the backyard next door to Casa Diablo where we were persuaded during the recent freezing weather to join in a pole-licking contest (shut up!), we returned our focus to local politics while bathing our injured organs in large medicinal solutions of Jack Daniel’s.

The Other Paper had a very good rundown of the issues facing the state General Assembly in the 2014 session in its Sunday, January 5 edition. And the report was far from comforting.

The first thing P&J need to mention is that 2014 is an election year for state legislators. This is the death knell for any progressive legislation, since our state senators and reps have less spine and fewer cojones than any member of the US Congress, even if that description confounds all laws of political physics. As in DC, there will be one goal and one goal only: to get re-elected in the fall. Therefore, anything even mildly controversial will be deep-sixed so our august solons will not have to go on the record with a vote that might offend any of their constituents, however wild-eyed and loony (spelled “Tea Party”) they may be.

Here’s a quick P&J commentary on the items raised by the Urinal, since they obviously failed to contact us for input prior to deadline.

Pension lawsuit: Despite the efforts of Judge Sarah Taft-Carter to have the sides reach an out-of-court settlement on the pension overhaul passed two years ago, this one may still face legal challenges that will drag out any agreements, while legislators run for the closest coat room to hide, lest they have to rear up on their hind legs in public and risk offending the unions or Gina Raimondo’s posse.

The economy: More mush from the wimps, with nothing of value being achieved except for spouting hot air about “innovation,” “startups,” and “workforce training.” Don’t mention any sales tax changes unless you want to be back to the day job come November.

Sakonnet Bridge tolls: Can you imagine having to charge Rhode Islanders $1.70 a round trip to use the bridge? You bastards!

38 Studios: The many prickly unanswered questions about how Curt “Bloody Sock” Schilling greased this taxpayer handout through the legislature with the help of political leaders mean this issue will be locked in the attic for as long as possible with the mentally challenged brother you never knew about.

HealthSource RI: If you actually benefited from this and believe it has been successful, you better keep your mouth shut if you know what’s good for you.

Gun control: Pul-eeze.

Have a nice year, boys and girls.


Pussy Riot on Ice

Move over, Disney On Ice. The controversies surrounding the upcoming Sochi Winter Olympics may end up with them being known as “Pussy Riot on Ice.”

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