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Happiness is a warm gun

Taking aim at gun ads; Taibbi grills Raimondo; Plus"R"Us
By PHILLIPE AND JORGE  |  October 2, 2013

Phillipe and Jorge don’t know whether to laugh, groan, or puke at local radio ads aimed at “gun enthusiasts” selling firearms to anyone who doesn’t come in the door drooling, with meth caked around their nose. Somehow those two words “gun” and “enthusiast” joined together don’t seem quite like “love and marriage” and “horse and carriage.”

Doubtless counted among the folks who get a woodie blazing away with firearms would be “enthusiast” Aaron Alexis of most recent fame at the Washington, DC Navy Yard; Adam Lanza of the Sandy Hook Elementary School slaughter; Seung- Hui Cho, at Virginia Tech; and the black trench-coated boys from Columbine High School. Much “enthusiasm” involved, indeed.

P&J have stated more than once that we have friends who own and respect guns, but we doubt they would enjoy being called “enthusiasts. They are ex-military and ex-police in the main who use guns for hunting and marksmanship practice, having no use for the assault weapons our above-mentioned killers were so over-the-top about.

But let’s not dampen the spirits of our friends at the state Republican Party, who obviously know a market when they see one. As Kathy “Faster, Pussycat, Kill, Kill” Gregg noted in an October 1 article in The Urinal, the RI GOP will be raffling off an AR-15 semiautomatic assault rifle (yep, the same kind used in Newtown) during a fundraising event at the South County Rod & Gun Club in West Greenwich on October 6. 

Isn’t that precious? Just what little Junior wants for Christmas this year. Hope we win it for him, darling!

The October 6 event is being presented as “Rhode Island’s 2nd Amendment Celebration,” replete with NRA instructors pumping up the enthusiasm of the participants.

Bought and paid for

The woman you saw walking down the street last week with her Talbots suit on fire was the state’s General Treasurer Gina Raimondo. Raimondo had just gotten lit up by one of P&J’s faves, Matt Taibbi, in the latest issue of Rolling Stone, for being a hedge fund darling who has rewarded her Wall Street investor friends with the public pension money of Rhode Island’s working class heroes.

Taibbi uses Little Rhody as the example of how financiers manipulate where the profits on pension investments go. In our case, Wall Street is making millions from having Rhode Island public retirement funds fed into their clutches.

Here’s a telling excerpt from Taibbi’s story, “Looting the Pension Funds”:

Called the Rhode Island Retirement Security Act of 2011, [Raimondo’s] plan would later be hailed as the most comprehensive pension reform ever implemented. The rap was so convincing at first that the overwhelmed local burghers of her little petri-dish state didn’t even know how to react. “She’s Yale, Harvard, Oxford — she worked on Wall Street,” says Paul Doughty, the current president of the Providence firefighters union. “Nobody wanted to be the first to raise his hand and admit he didn’t know what the fuck she was talking about.”

Or maybe this will work better when people consider who to vote for in the Democratic primary for governor, which is a lock to be between Our Gina and La Prov Mayor Angel Taveras:

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ARTICLES BY PHILLIPE AND JORGE
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  •   ONE FINE LADY  |  April 16, 2014
    Nuala Pell was a woman whom Phillipe and Jorge liked, admired, and respected, and we are saddened by her death this week at the age of 89.
  •   MAN OF MORE THAN LETTERS  |  April 09, 2014
    Peter Matthiessen, one of the greatest American writers of his generation and a longtime hero to Phillipe and Jorge, passed away on April 5.
  •   THE GOOD NEWS  |  April 02, 2014
    We like to highlight the inspiring things that occasionally happen in the Biggest Little.
  •   VOTE THEM ALL OUT!  |  March 26, 2014
    Rhode Island’s newly-christened Speaker of the House, Rep. Nicholas Mattiello (D-Cranston), makes Phillipe and Jorge think of someone who, if you went mountain climbing with him and if you started to fall, would be sawing with a knife furiously at the safety line connecting you in case you might take him down with you.
  •   DUDE, WHERE'S MY CAR?  |  March 12, 2014
    The story of the Prius stolen from Mrs. Clay Pell — aka Michelle Kwan — has reached farcical proportions.

 See all articles by: PHILLIPE AND JORGE



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