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Good girl gone bad?

Plus, my cousin Zimmy, lucky sevens, and Byrne-ing down the house
By PHILLIPE AND JORGE  |  July 2, 2013

Phillipe and Jorge can’t imagine a nicer and more charming young lady than our own General Treasurer Gina Raimondo. But she must choose her company more wisely.

First we had the revelation she was being supported from afar by a former Enron trader during her push for pension overhaul last year. Then we got New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg — a first class, hectoring, self-important schmuck if ever there was one — endorsing her inevitable run for governor, and contradicting his past support of Linc Chafee in the process. Wow. Bow-wow.

Now Chicago Mayor Rahm Emanuel, perhaps the creepiest punk in the universe short of Vladimir Putin or Kim Jong-un, has reportedly co-hosted a fundraiser for Our Gina. What can she hope to gain from this, other than big bucks?

For a candidate who stands so well on her own merits, bringing Bloomberg and Emanuel into the equation has more of a chance to hurt than serve her. There isn’t a voter in Little Rhody who gives a rat’s ass about either of those two. Locals are more likely to — rightly — see them as abettors to the Wall Street thieves to whom Raimondo has always cottoned.

My Cousin Zimmy

P&J have noticed of late that courtroom behavior isn’t exactly up to Perry Mason standards.

Former Patriots wide receiver Chad Ochocinco/Johnson’s slap on the ass of his attorney after arranging a plea bargain on a domestic violence case earned him the wrath of the Broward County, Florida judge, who cancelled the deal and slammed him into the can for seven days at the state’s pleasure. Here in Providence we had the unfortunate sight of Melisa Lawrence, whose 16-year-old daughter was recently shot, showing up for her arraignment on charges for assaulting an ABC6 news reporter while wearing a “My Attitude Is Your Problem” Tinkerbell T-shirt. Not exactly the best way to garner judicial support.

But those incidents pale in the wake of the actions of defense attorney Don West, who is currently representing George Zimmerman in the controversial 2012 Trayvon Martin slaying in Sanford, Florida. Zimmerman, working on a neighborhood crime watch, is accused of killing the black teen in an incident that seems to scream racial profiling.

West actually began his defense of Zimmerman by telling a knock-knock joke: “Knock-knock. Who’s there? George Zimmerman. George Zimmerman who? All right, good, you’re on the Zimmerman jury.” The joke did not amuse the jury and God knows what was going through the minds of Martin’s family who were in attendance.

Harking back to the magnificent movie My Cousin Vinny, at least West wasn’t wearing a magenta tuxedo and didn’t stutter, but those were about the only offenses he didn’t commit. And he wasn’t helped by his idiot daughter, who later posted photos on Instagram of the family enjoying ice cream cones with the caption, “We beat stupidity celebration cones #zimmerman #defense #dadkilledit.”

Personally, Phillipe and Jorge believe Zimmerman should have jumped from his seat and said, “Your honor, I am firing my lawyer!” right on the spot. Because once your lawyer’s insulted the jury in a murder case, you’re not going to get a great deal of sympathy from those folks who were publicly embarrassed in front of national media and grieving parents.

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ARTICLES BY PHILLIPE AND JORGE
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  •   ONE FINE LADY  |  April 16, 2014
    Nuala Pell was a woman whom Phillipe and Jorge liked, admired, and respected, and we are saddened by her death this week at the age of 89.
  •   MAN OF MORE THAN LETTERS  |  April 09, 2014
    Peter Matthiessen, one of the greatest American writers of his generation and a longtime hero to Phillipe and Jorge, passed away on April 5.
  •   THE GOOD NEWS  |  April 02, 2014
    We like to highlight the inspiring things that occasionally happen in the Biggest Little.
  •   VOTE THEM ALL OUT!  |  March 26, 2014
    Rhode Island’s newly-christened Speaker of the House, Rep. Nicholas Mattiello (D-Cranston), makes Phillipe and Jorge think of someone who, if you went mountain climbing with him and if you started to fall, would be sawing with a knife furiously at the safety line connecting you in case you might take him down with you.
  •   DUDE, WHERE'S MY CAR?  |  March 12, 2014
    The story of the Prius stolen from Mrs. Clay Pell — aka Michelle Kwan — has reached farcical proportions.

 See all articles by: PHILLIPE AND JORGE



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