STOLEN FROM THE 99% BY THE 1%WOODSTOCK DIRECTOR'S CUT 40TH ANNIVERSARY ULTIMATE COLLECTOR'S EDITION BOX SET | $39.99 | AMAZON.COM | Dear lazy, jobless, tax-evading 99-percenters: Ha! You thought you'd try to capture the magic of Woodstock, eh? Well I've got news for you jerkasses - Woodstock didn't do jack shit! You know about the "inspiring" songs by Santana and Joe Cocker and dirty hippies helping their fellow dirty hippies, but have you ever watchedthis movie? At the end of the festival, Jimi Hendrix gets on stage and plays his famous rendition of The Star-Spangled Banner. You've heard it, but in the movie it's intercut with footage of the trashed aftermath of the "peace and love" concert: despite everyone's declaration of unity and working-togetherness, this collection of idealists couldn't even clean up after themselves. It's no wonder that they couldn't create any real change in the foundation of this country. I should know - a lot of them joined me on the dark side of the New York Stock Exchange! Just give in, grovel, and maybe - maybe - we'll give you a job scrubbing toilets with your tongue. Squeal like a pig, bitch. Sincerely, the One Percent.
