In light of recent budget cuts in average Americans' bank accounts, and the increasingly skyrocketing cost of higher education, Phoenix University (we regret the acronym, but University of Phoenix was taken) has opened its (paper) doors. We will be offering the following classes for the fall semester. Enrollment is free, homework is optional, tests may involve life-threatening danger, and credit is not redeemable for actual university degrees. Nevertheless, what you learn here at PU will help prepare you for the rest of your life.Here's our list of syllabi. (You didn't think you'd ever see that word outside "real" academia, did you?)
Underwater Basket Weaving
After years of use and abuse as a joke gut course on campuses throughout the English-speaking world, Phoenix University is offering this as a real class.
• First you'll need to learn the basics of weaving baskets.
Basic Basket Making: All the Skills and Tools You Need to Get Started edited by Linda Franz, Stackpole Books, 2008.
Weaving Country Baskets by Maryanne Gillooley, Storey Publishing, 1996.
• Then you'll need to get familiar with spending time underwater.
Scuba Diving by Dennis Graver, Human Kinetics, 2009.
The Certified Diver's Handbook: The Complete Guide to Your Own Underwater Adventures by Clay Coleman, International Marine/Ragged Mountain Press, 2004.
• For more advanced reading, or if you plan to spend extended periods of time at this activity:
Ocean Outpost: The Future of Humans Living Underwater by Erik Seedhouse, Springer, 2010.
Diver Down: Real-World SCUBA Accidents and How to Avoid Them by Michael Ange, International Marine/Ragged Mountain Press, 2005.
• Getting to know the underwater materials that may be available:
Illustrated Key to the Seaweeds of New England by Martine Bohnsack-Villalard, Rhode Island Natural History Survey, 1995.
Seaweeds by David N. Thomas, Smithsonian Books, 2002.
Seaweed Biology: Novel Insights into Ecophysiology, Ecology and Utilization edited by Christian Wiencke and Kai Bischof, Springer, 2012. (Particularly Part V, which relates to economic and industrial uses of seaweed.)
• Should you wish to take your efforts beyond the introductory level, consider choosing your work location from this book.
Fifty Places to Dive Before You Die: Diving Experts Share the World's Greatest Destinations by Chris Santella, Stewart Tabori and Chang, 2008.
