The Big Hurt

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The Big Hurt: Hot 100 Debuts

Who charted?
I love writing these chart-watching editions of "The Big Hurt," but I don't do it too often, and for a depressing reason: the same shit stays on the charts week after week.
By DAVID THORPE | February 01, 2012

The Big Hurt: Unnecessary press release roundup

Aggregating
No matter how lazy music writers get, we can't spin every press release into a freebie news story, or even a scrap of "Web content" (shudder) for whichever shit aggregator pays our parking tickets.
By DAVID THORPE | December 14, 2011

The Big Hurt: Bieber's balls, Weiland and She & Him's Xmas albums, Nicki Minaj's trash, and more

Music news in brief
While his upcoming Christmas album, Under the Mistletoe, may sound like a surefire hit, it was nearly scuppered by a pair of glistening ornaments.
By DAVID THORPE | November 09, 2011

The Big Hurt: The Stone Roses and other tales of the living dead!

Music news in brief
In the spooky spirit of the Phoenix Halloween Goth special, a chilling tale of a band returning from the dead!
By DAVID THORPE | October 25, 2011

The Big Hurt: Smash Mouth chicken out

Scrambling
In the end, some eggs were eaten and a bunch of money was raised to help sick kids, which is great. But did Steve Harwell truly meet the egg challenge? No!
By DAVID THORPE | October 19, 2011

Thorpe nabs Deems Taylor Award

Blowing Our Own Horn Dept.
Phoenix columnist David Thorpe has been named one of the winners of this year's ASCAP Deems Taylor Award for writing about music.
By BOSTON PHOENIX STAFF | October 14, 2011

The Big Hurt: The gnome-stealing legends of Britpop failure are back! Do we care? Maybe!

Marion return!
Here's the biggest news of the year, if you're me or Michael Marotta or one of maybe three other idiots in the world who'd actually care: Marion is reforming.
By DAVID THORPE | October 05, 2011

The Big Hurt: This week in music merchandising

Good times!
I love watching a credible artist make a decent living. That's why I take such audibly-giggling delight in keeping readers abreast of the latest honest-buck news, which is coming fast and furious this week.
By DAVID THORPE | September 28, 2011

The Big Hurt: Ke$ha, 'That Girl in Pink,' and Mongo Slade make 'news'

Hard pressed
This week, another ill-fated jog down the dark alley of music biz press releases. . . .
By DAVID THORPE | September 14, 2011

The Big Hurt: My application to have sex with Sinéad O'Connor

Not a Nigel!
Sinéad O'Connor recently posted a rather extraordinary blog entry, titled "IS SINÉAD ABOUT TO HUMP HER TRUCK?"
By DAVID THORPE | September 06, 2011

The Big Hurt: Alex James's cheese, the Chili Peppers' video, Noel and Liam's suit, Nicole Scherzinger's Killer Love, Sammy Hagar's Chickenfoot III

Music news in brief
James is on the vanguard of a truly extraordinary future: now that cheese has been infused with the flavor of ketchup, it's only a matter of time before entire cheeseburgers — with beef, onions, lettuce, tomato, bacon, and all — are compressed into pre-sliced cheese singles so you can carry them around in your wallet.
By DAVID THORPE | August 31, 2011

The Big Hurt: Hot singles of August 23, 1986

Who charted?
I thought it would be fun to take a look at the Hot 100 as it stood exactly 25 years ago — mostly so I wouldn't have to listen to any fucking Katy Perry songs this week.
By DAVID THORPE | August 23, 2011

The Big Hurt: Ten years of Kidz Bop

The kidz are alright
I've made fun of Kidz Bop plenty in the past, but it's time to get real: Kidz Bop is a venerable institution now, worthy of serious retrospection.
By DAVID THORPE | August 16, 2011

The Big Hurt: Pablo Dylan's 10 Minutes

Meritocracy news
Bob Dylan's 16-year-old grandson, Pablo Dylan, just dropped 10 Minutes , his first rap mixtape.
By DAVID THORPE | August 04, 2011

The Big Hurt: Kiedis's new look; plus, Incubus, Moz, Bieber, and Robbie Williams

Music news in brief
Beware: the RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS have a new track called "The Adventures of Rain Dance Maggie."
By DAVID THORPE | July 27, 2011

The Big Hurt: Bieber Silences Youth, Kings of Leon Sell Out

The week's best press releases
I hadn't originally planned a press-release review for this week, but some PR blasts require immediate attention.
By DAVID THORPE | July 19, 2011

The Big Hurt: Smash Mouth egg, Juggalos gather, Oasis grump, Bieber fades

Music news in brief
By the time you read this, Steve Harwell of SMASH MOUTH may be caked in sweat and yolk flecks, clutching his distended belly, groaning and wheezing — more so than usual, even.
By DAVID THORPE | July 12, 2011

The Big Hurt: Calling all Rembrandts!

The Dutch 'Cultural Meltdown'
While scouring the press release bin for cheap laughs, I came across a story of some legitimate interest: a coalition of Dutch artists recently took out an ad in the New York Times advising "Do Not Enter the Netherlands — Cultural Meltdown in Progress."
By DAVID THORPE | July 11, 2011

The Big Hurt: Winehouse blows it in the Balkans, Morrissey murders cats

Music news in brief
Some people think music writing is pretty soft compared to being a war correspondent or whatever, but I listened to a Limp Bizkit song and an Evanescence song tonight. That has to be a million times worse than anything that's ever happened in Libya.
By DAVID THORPE | June 29, 2011

Suede reclaimed

The best ever!
It's an emotional time for the few surviving members of the Teenage Anglophiles-of-the-'90s club.
By DAVID THORPE | June 16, 2011

The Big Hurt: 'That Girl in Pink' cures cancer; Nick Jonas falls for Big Oats

Tween releases
This week, another stroll through the terrifying graveyard of unloved press releases.
By DAVID THORPE | June 09, 2011

The Big Hurt: Bieber's scent, Foster the People's kicks, Dylan's smack, Tyler and Sara's tiff

Music news in brief
Though our wee lad is scarcely old enough to develop a musky scent of his own, he's already prepping his second commercial fragrance.
By DAVID THORPE | June 01, 2011

The Big Hurt: Getting serious about Tyler, the Creator

Word games
Odd Future's lyrics — particularly those of frontman Tyler, the Creator — aren't for the faint of heart.
By DAVID THORPE | May 25, 2011

The Big Hurt: Lep, Squire, Cee-Lo, and Sufjan duke it out

Lamewatch!
There's no end of lameness in music news this week, but here are a few of the highlights.
By DAVID THORPE | May 19, 2011

The Big Hurt: Hit men get hit, plus Kid Rock, ICP, Dave Grohl, Steven Tyler, Lil B & Jay Electronica, and Bieberwatch

Music news in brief
This week in big trouble: RICK SPRINGFIELD was arrested for driving drunk, FLAVOR FLAV was busted for a bunch of stuff, PHIL SPECTOR's appeal was rejected, and an American Navy SEAL team shot and killed gentle '70s folk-rock singer OSAMA BIN LADEN.
By DAVID THORPE | May 10, 2011

More unloved press releases

Weed's rights, etc.
Space used to be about buzz-cut patriots putting boots to moon to teach those rascally Russkies a lesson, but now it's just nerds studying gravity and rich idiots buying their way up.
By DAVID THORPE | April 27, 2011

Losers of the Hot 100

Who charted?
In today's "Who Charted?", I'll be checking out a few of the biggest losers on the Billboard Hot 100.
By DAVID THORPE | April 19, 2011

Spray-pancake-batter 'fat cats' strike back!

Blasted!
Two weeks ago, in a round-up of "inessential" press releases, I discussed Batter Blaster, a spray-on-pancake-batter company that had delved into the world of rock by offering free, hip, indie songs to fans of high-tech breakfast products.
By DAVID THORPE | April 11, 2011

Big Hurt: Chris Brown's problematic timing

Almost saved!
Last Tuesday was an awkward day for MTV.com and the rest of the Chris Brown promotional forgiveness machine — on the same day that his career-saving comeback album was dropped, he appeared on Good Morning America and became incensed by pre-vetted questions regarding his assault on Rihanna.
By DAVID THORPE | March 31, 2011