See all in Savage Love

The 100 Unsexiest Men of 2011

Savage Love

All in the family

Here’s one for you: my girlfriend and I had been living together for two years, and we talked about marriage and kids. Like all relationships, ours wasn’t perfect. But what really bothered me was my girlfriend’s relationship with her brother. They were touchy-feely in a way that felt inappropriate. Two weeks ago I came home and found my girlfriend in her brother’s arms on the couch. They freaked at my sudden arrival and jumped up, providing me with a clear view of the outline of the boner in his pants. Guilt was on their faces. After he left I demanded to know what was going on. At first my girlfriend insisted that I had a dirty mind. I told her that I recognize a boner when I see one, and she confessed that they had been having incestuous relations since they were teenagers — and didn’t think it was a big deal! I told her it was a huge deal to me because (a) she’s cheating on me, (b) she’s cheating on me with her brother, and (c)ewww.
I asked her to move out, which she took very badly. Of course everyone — family, friends, neighbors — is asking what happened. I’m also seriously missing the woman I thought would be my wife. Am I forcing my morality on her, as she insists? Or is ditching her a no-brainer? I can’t even think clearly anymore. Is this a case of DTBFA — dump the brotherfucker already?
— Serious Incest Since Teens Eliminated Her 

What is with the incest letters lately? Was the incest taboo rescinded, and only SISTEH and I failed to get the memo? Motherfuckers, brotherfuckers, fatherfuckers — just reading the subject lines on my e-mails is giving me screaming nightmares. Eesh.
Listen, SISTEH: dumping the brotherfucker was the right thing to do — a no-brainer, a definite case of DTBFA. Would you want the future mother of your children to regard incest as anything other than the taboo-to-the-tenth-power that it is and, if I have anything to say about it, always will be? And don’t worry about your ex-girlfriend’s future prospects: there’s a guy besides her brother out there for her somewhere. Google can help her find a guy who has both a cuckold and an incest fetish, i.e., the kind of guy who is not only turned on by the thought of his mate being unfaithful, but who would find it extra-special nifty if his wife was cheating on him with her own brother. That guy ain’t you.
As for your family, friends, and neighbors, refrain from telling them the whole truth — your ex has enough problems without everyone knowing she’s a brotherfucker. But when you’re asked why the two of you broke up, SISTEH, you have every right to say that she was cheating on you with another man.